


Change

by LordKaiserthe1st



Series: Rose Redemption AU [9]
Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Existential Angst, Existential Crisis, Existentialism, Hurt/Comfort, Mother-Son Relationship, Post-Episode s05e29-32 Change Your Mind, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-27
Updated: 2019-02-23
Packaged: 2019-10-17 07:48:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 10
Words: 17,730
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17556275
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LordKaiserthe1st/pseuds/LordKaiserthe1st
Summary: Rose struggles to come to terms with the meaning behind Steven's epiphany on Homeworld. How can she be gone is she's here? If Rose Quartz truly is gone, than what does that make her? Who even is she then?





	1. Chapter 1

“I have something for you!” Steven stated with excitement, presenting Rose with a neatly wrapped package. Rose lifted the box to her head, listening intently as she shook it, “I doesn’t sound like anything’s in there.”

Steven chuckled, “Sure there is, open it up!” 

Curious, Rose tugged at the delicately tied ribbon before Steven stepped in once more, “Sorry, I should have just told you. It’s not really tied with a ribbon, it just looks like that.” With that, he gently lifted the lid above the box. Rose inspected it contents, it appeared to be some type of cloth. As she removed it from its container, she held it out in front of her face.

She immediately recognized it as a t-shirt, its sleek design and colors summoning memories of her first meeting with a young rock star on one faithful night. But something about the design stuck out to her as different while she read the text out loud.

“’Mrs. Universe’?”

Steven beamed with joy, “Yeah! Dad helped me design it, and Buck helped make the shirt! And I know you’re pretty big, so I made sure it was a XXL…” 

Rose smiled, eagerly slipping the shirt over her head before carefully lifting her hair from under the fabric, “Oh, sweetie, it's lovely!” she exclaimed with unbridled glee, scooping Steven into her arms into a tight hug.

“Yeah, we’ve had you around for a year now. So we all thought we’d do something nice to make you feel more welcome…” Rose already felt her heart soar at his words, lifting him closer to her to give a kiss to his forehead, “You’re such a sweetheart…”

Rose could barely even wrap her head around the concept. Not long after Steven’s journey to Homeworld on his mission to appease the Diamonds he and Connie devised a plan to discover her consciousness deep within she and Steven’s memories. 

Since then, they had been on a litany of adventures that had allowed her to bond with the child she long since thought she’d never see face to face. Perhaps the most ludicrous development was her procuring of a new gemstone. What felt to her was almost a new lease on life. It felt so strange to think it had all been just one short year ago, “Oh, Steven. I can’t begin to tell you of how proud I am of how far you’ve come. I had thought you seeing Homeworld and getting through to White was a milestone. But… this… me being here and being able to hug my baby boy. You never cease to amaze me…”

She immediately spotted Steven’s smile falter at the mention of White. Without a word between them, she could see an all too familiar look in his eyes. One that hid troubling thoughts and hard to ask questions, a look she knew was best not to be ignored, “Steven, is there something troubling you?”

He looked down towards the floor, as if he were carefully parsing out the words he wanted to share in his mind. “Mom. There’s been something I wanted to ask you, I just never knew how to say it.”

“Of course, sweetheart, what’s on your mind?” Rose answered curiously.

Steven seemed to squirm in her arms, his struggle to verbalize his thoughts seemingly bringing about true physical discomfort, “On Homeworld… when White… you know… was that you?”

Rose’s brow furrowed, “What do you mean?”

“Like… when White… removed my gem.” He said timidly. She could not have heard that right, he had to have misspoken, or at the very least, not phrased his question quite right. “She did what!?” Rose exclaimed in confusion and outrage. The very thought of White allowing that kind of blatant trauma to happen to Steven making her hands begin to shake with righteous indignation.

Steven, however, seemed completely baffled by Rose’s response, “Wait, do you not remember that?”

“Steven, I am quite certain that I would have remembered this!” Rose assured. “When you arrived on Homeworld, I was practically in the dark…” She set Steven down and rubbed her forehead in a measure to calm herself down, “What… what happened… when she… did this…”

Steven struggled to provide an answer, “It was weird… I was really expecting you to reform. And for a second, it looked like you would. But when it did, it reformed as… me.”

“You?” She answered, trying not to sound too troubled, “Did he… say anything?” Steven nodded, “When White asked where you were, all he said was that you were… gone.”

“Gone?” she echoed, her confusion over the whole matter quickly mounting, “Like, somewhere else?” Steven shook his head, “No, like ‘gone’. Like… forever…”

This didn’t seem right. Although of course she knew she would surrender her gem to Steven, the statement by this being and her presence seemed to inherently conflict with one another, “But Steven, how can that be? I’m right here!”

“I know. But after everything on Homeworld, I was half certain Bismuth wouldn’t find you in my memories.” Steven stated timidly, not sure of how to explain it all himself.

Rose started to feel a pit in her stomach. Some sort of constant discomfort from this revelation that had previously been unknown to her, “I… I don’t how to feel about this…”

“Hey, it’s alright. I didn’t think it was really important to bring up until now.” Steven reassured, “Not to sound mean or anything, but I was happy to see me there instead of you. It means that I wasn’t you, I was my own person. Both as a human and as a gem. And now that I have, well, ‘me’ figured out, I’m really happy you’re here to get to know me.”

“I suppose you’re right.” Rose said, her mind still trying to reconcile the flurry of complicated thoughts that seemed to dance around her head like a swarm of insects, “Well, it’s getting late. We should get some rest now. Goodnight, Steven.”

Steven grinned, reaching out to give her a hug, “Goodnight, Mom. I love you.” 

Rose struggled to pay attention to the world around her as she tried to process this new information, “…’love you too…” she said listlessly.

As the last vestiges of the day finally faded into night, Rose still felt her mind repeat the same thing over and over in her head, ‘She’s Gone.’ She kept thinking, trying to perhaps make sense of the statement as it related to her. That perhaps there was some deeper, more understandable meaning behind it all. But the more she thought about it, the more she felt the bluntness of these words hang over her. ‘What does that say… about me?’ 

She hoped sleep would at last free her of these thoughts, that she could forget about this in the morning. Her body began to relax, her mind drifting as she allowed herself to slip into a state of unconsciousness. 

The moment she opened her eyes, she immediately spotted Steven standing beside her, a troubled look present as he stared at her through narrowed eyes, ‘Why are you here?’ he said, the tone of his voice far harsher than she had ever recalled hearing him speak with.

“What?”

‘I said, why are you here!?’ he grumbled through gritted teeth.

She ignored the venom of his words as she pressed further, “Steven, sweetie, what’s wrong?”

Steven’s eyes widened with rage, ‘What’s wrong? You! You being here and talking to me, that’s what’s wrong!’

Rose’s eyes began to mist, she honestly was at a loss of what he could have been talking about or why he seemed to levy so much vitriol towards her, “Steven, please, if I did something wrong, I’m sorry…”

Steven’s fists shook, Rose immediately taking notice of a glowing pink aura that appeared to consume him, ‘You’re supposed… to be… GONE!!!’

The power of his voice reverberated throughout the temple, the walls and floor around her shaking and giving way before being blown away into the empty void that appeared around him. The only thing left being her and him. ‘He moved on from you! They ALL moved on! But you just won’t leave them alone, will you!?’

Tears streamed from the sides of her face, “But Steven, I thought you wanted me here?”

‘How can he be himself when it turns out you were still there!? Are you even Rose Quartz!? Or are you just some bad memory that they should have left behind!?’ he jabbed.

“…I…” She tried to think of something to say, something that would reassure her identity. But the more she thought, the harder it was to justify it all. Any argument she thought of dispelled by the endless repeat of two words, ‘She’s gone…’

‘If you’re not his mother then stop pretending you are!’ he demanded, ‘They don’t need you anymore!’

She sprung up, finally freed from her nightmare. Immediately what she felt she had to do was leave. Already, she could feel the space around her and even the others close by that before seemed so welcoming and calming now only bringing anxiety and discomfort to her. Tearfully, she dashed outside in a desperate bid to collect her thoughts.


	2. Chapter 2

‘What am I going to tell Steven?’ she thought as she sat on the shore, ‘What would they say if I told them she really was gone, that she wasn’t who she thought she was, whatever she was…’

She imagined how it would happen in her head. Greg would likely be at a loss for words, as he couldn’t hope to understand how gems worked. Evidently, not even she knew, and she was a gem… or at least some loosely cobbled together collection of memories and emotions that weren’t her own within a gem.

Garnet would perhaps have seen this coming, but hoped it wouldn’t come to pass while silently trying to accept this bitter reality. Amethyst would probably berate her for deceiving them all, and she’d be right to. Pearl… oh stars, Pearl would likely fall apart all over again. And Steven…

All through the night she dreaded the arrival of the morning sun, knowing the further it creeped over the horizon, the smaller the window there was left to avoid bringing this up. She wished right now that she would just disappear, perhaps fly away and never have to face this. ‘So leave them in the dark, just like Rose did, right?’ she heard a voice say. She turned to the source of it, seeing the image of Steven as he appeared in her dream slumped lazily beside her, judgmental stare and all. ‘Because running away from your problems worked SO WELL with Rose, am I right? Maybe we’ll find a really nice guy yourself to have a kid with so THEY can go sort out our problems!’

“Oh, hush!” She snapped, finding little patience for his constant badgering.

‘But really, why should this be so hard for you?’ He said coldly, ‘This isn’t YOUR family, they don’t hold any meaning to you.’

“They meant something to her!” she retorted, “And they still think I’m her…” 

‘But you’re not.’ He said bluntly, ‘You cannot possibly be her. You’re not Rose, you’re likely not even a real person.’

“This all still feels so real to me, though…” She whispered, looking down at her hands. This was all so much for herself to take in. To know she spoke in a voice that wasn’t hers. To wear the face of one who had long since passed on. So much for respect for the dead… 

‘You need to let this go. You’ve upset everything already. You’ve gotten all their hopes up. Don’t you start acting like her, now. This is your mess, YOU fix it!’

“I know!” She blurted.

“Mom?”

Instinctively, she looked over her shoulder. She spotted Steven, still in his pajamas, his faculties seemingly haven not fully returned as evidenced by him rubbing his eyes. She wasn’t sure how he could have possibly have known she’d be out here at just an early point in the morning. She tried to look away, to pretend she hadn’t noticed him in the hopes that he’d maybe leave her in peace. Anything to delay speaking to him for just a little longer. She tried to think of some excuse to leave or having him go. But the thought of knowingly continuing this charade to manipulate him almost made her stomach churn. Any attempt to speak simply silenced by her sense of guilt.

“Mom, you look awful. What’s wrong? Didn’t get any sleep?” She could feel a tightness in her chest every time he uttered the word ‘mom’. A title she couldn’t come close to earn from him in a million years. It was an honor meant for someone else, someone at the very least wasn’t her.

Stars, she’d really have to do it, wouldn’t she? If she had to, she would have wanted to do so later. At least have some time to plan it all out and think of how best to explain it all. “Hey, c’mon, you know you can always talk to me!” he said cheerfully, taking a spot next to her in the sand.

She flinched when she felt something touch her leg, looking down to see Steven’s head resting upon it. ‘You cannot live this lie.’ He said, ‘If you don’t tell them, they’ll find out, just like how they found out about her. And do you think they’ll take that news well? What’ll you think he’d do if he found out you lied to him all this time? You’ll break his heart. Destroy the one good thing Rose ever made.’

From what she could see, Steven appeared blissfully unaware of the turmoil that raged within her as he stared out towards the sunrise, “I guess you just wanted to see the sun come up. I bet you’ve been to a lot of places on Earth where this looks even more beautiful…”

She could feel herself tremble at the mere thought of speaking to him now. ‘You have to tell him.’ He said, ‘She lied enough to him already. You’re going to hurt him even more deeply than anyone ever has if you don’t do something!’ 

Part of her wanted to leave then and there, no words, no explanation. She had half guessed she’d be a blubbering mess incapable of getting a cohesive sentence out before falling apart emotionally. Why her? Why did she have to be in this situation? Was she now another soul in the long list of those hurt by Rose Quartz’s recklessness? This wasn’t fair to her, and it wasn’t fair to him.  
Steven at last seemed to notice her unsettled state, lifting his head to look up towards her.

‘You’re out of time’ she heard him say beside her, ‘If you don’t same something to him right now, he will find out on his own. He will hate and resent you forever for the immeasurable pain you’ve brought him! He will hate you just as much as he hates her!’

“Mom, why do you look so scared-”

“STOP!” She snapped, already feeling the emotional strain of the moment begin to take its toll on her. Not at all helped by Steven’s reaction to her outburst making her heart drop like a stone, “Stop calling me that! I don’t know what’s going on… I don’t know what I am! But I know one thing. I’m not your mother, Steven. She died a long time ago…” She couldn’t go on. She couldn’t explain more without making it more painful than it already had to be. She jumped to her feet and bolted for the Warp pad, paying no mind to Greg as he greeted her, “Whoa, Rose, where's the fire?”

‘He can tell them.’ He said, ‘Just get out of here, get away from them and get this over with.’

From behind, she could hear Steven’s frantic footsteps crunch against the sand in a bid to keep up with her, but by the time he had gotten to the front door, she already began to disappear in shimmering beam of light.

“MOM, WAIT!” She dared to turn and face him one last time. That look he gave her, the look of confusion and heartbreak would be the last time she could ever see his face. She struggled to swallow the lump in her throat from that thought. 

‘Why should you care?’ he jabbed, ‘He wasn’t yours. You two were perfect strangers, he’ll let go, and you should do the same. It’s better this way.'

“…I suppose…” she sighed.


	3. Chapter 3

Steven had scoured the surroundings of each of the warp pads. Combing them meticulously for any signs of Rose’s whereabouts. He ran through each possible location in his head. 

Rose’s fountain was empty, the Strawberry battlefield was equally vacant. The mountains where he, Pearl, and Amethyst had journeyed to retrieve the Heaven Beetle was as silent as the grave. He felt as though he had exhausted every other option from the geode to the galaxy warp and everything in between. And yet, nothing. He had no clue where she could have gone or where she would be going. 

He, regrettably, had to explain to Connie of what had happened after realizing his search had caused him to miss a lunch date with her. And though it pained him, he explained to her what Rose had said to him. Even saying it out loud himself, it still made little sense to him. The scene of her morning outburst summoning a tightness in his chest as he repeated the exchange over and over in his head.

To his frustration, he was forced to retire the search until tomorrow. As much as he was willing to carry on, he could already feel his feet drag and his eyes grow heavier as the day dragged into night. With much regret, he returned to the Temple empty handed. But he refused to accept defeat, he knew he would find her, and he would make sure to help her through whatever she was going through. He knew she’d do the same thing for him at least. The others were quick to notice both he and Rose’s absence. Upon returning home, he had to relay to them what happened that morning.

“She was just sitting on the beach by herself. She looked totally exhausted!” Steven explained, “So I thought I’d stay by her side for a bit to make her feel better. And then she snapped at me, told me she wasn’t my Mom and just… left…”

“That don’t sound like our Rose.” Amethyst stated, “What’d you do to set her off?”

“Well, last night, we just talked…” 

“About what?” Pearl pressed on.

Even after all this time, mentioning it still made Steven squirm. He clutched his shirt as if it mentioning it all again would spur the same trauma to repeat itself over once more, “About… what White did to my gem on Homeworld… I wanted to know if she was there…”

Immediately, he could see the others begin to fidget in discomfort at the utterance of White’s name. Their journey to Homeworld had been every bit as unpleasant for them as it was for him, it seemed.  
Looking back now, he felt so clueless. He should have known how much this would bother her. But even he could never have thought she would take this revelation so harshly.

“I should never have brought it up with her…” Steven stated solemnly, “All it did was upset her and now she’s all confused because of me…”

Pearl sighed, kneeling down to face him at eye level, “Steven, you can’t blame yourself. From what you told all of us, it seemed to have been a rather… harrowing experience. And you have to admit it raises some admittedly… unpleasant implications about her…”

“What do you mean?” he asked.

Pearl seemed reticent to continue, “Well, Steven. You’re a Diamond. Who knows what’s possible with you. And you’re also half human, so it raises a whole host of other questions as to the validity of her statement…”

Steven still struggled to understand the point she was trying to make, “Are you saying you don’t think it’s her?”

“What I’m saying is that we don’t know, Steven.” Pearl admitted, “And if she doesn’t know who she is, than who does?”

“I do!” Steven cried, “She said she was there to see my whole life even before she got her own gem, she remembers her entire life, including all the memories she made with you guys. And I know that she chose to be with us because she really cared about us! You guys still at least care about her… right?”

The gems looked to one another. No words were exchanged between them, but the looks they gave one another were all they needed to share. Pearl was the first to break the silence, “Steven, we know you care about your mother very much. I can’t begin to tell you how happy I am that you had the chance to get to know the kind of loving person she was.” She said, her tender smile quickly fading, “But… I would be lying if I said that her return hadn’t been… strenuous…and this recent development has now raised some uncomfortable implications about who we may have really been spending this past year with.”

“We all mourned for her when she passed on.” Garnet stated, “And admittedly, we may been too quick to accept her in again after indulging with the possibility of her return. However, we’re worried that now after everything… if this really wasn’t truly her as she told you that we may have taken a step back. And as such, sullied Rose’s memory.”

Amethyst nodded in agreement, “Bud, it’s not that we don’t care about her anymore, but… if this really is someone else, we know you wouldn’t want her to be anyone other than herself. I mean, you showed me what it was like for you. It sucked.”

“But I know it’s her!” Steven pleaded, “All those times we spent together, all those moments where she said she loved us… that was real! I know that she loved us… I know that she loved me… Even if she isn’t my Mom, she couldn’t have spent a whole year lying to us all!”

“Dude, I think you and I know if she’s anything like Rose, lying is kinda natural to her…” Amethyst stated.

Steven’s heartbeat begin to hasten until it rumbled through his skull, his face grew warm as he felt his hands shake in frustration. Right away, he recognized what this was, trying desperately hard to calm himself down. He knew he couldn’t let this get to him. But this was his family, they missed her, they mourned her, and now they were just going to leave her? If this had been him, would have done the same thing? Just let him wander the world and stew in his confusion? No, of course not! Then why was it any different with her? 

He struggled to control the harshness of his words, his sight being robbed by fresh tears that glazed his eyes, “So you’re just giving up on her, is that it?” Steven snarled, “I get if you guys are still mad at her, but this is cold for you guys.”

“Now Steven, don’t be like that.” Pearl snapped, “This isn’t any easier for us as it must be for you.”

He wanted to say something to refute her point before biting his tongue. He still felt that she shouldn’t have to be out alone and afraid away from everyone else. But this morning’s fiasco had given him something to contemplate. As he looked to each of the other gems, he could see in their faces the looks of those who were just tired emotionally. He couldn’t blame them, for what felt like most of his life they had been processing her loss. To have her back and then disappear again… he couldn’t even begin to imagine what they were going through.

“What if she chooses to not come back?” He asked grimly.

“It would be her choice.” Replied Garnet.

Steven’s brow furrowed, the answer still not sitting well with him. He felt a pit in his stomach. He hated this feeling, the ambiguity. The uncertainty he felt loom over him like a shadow. He didn’t feel comfortable being in the safety of his own home while she was out there by herself. He didn’t want to halt the search for her, but at this moment, he didn’t have the energy to fight Pearl over their next course of action. Indeed, he didn’t much energy to spare at all. 

“Alright...” he said. With a heavy heart, he changed and prepared for bed. He tried to avoid saying another word to them, assuming he had already dug quite a trench for himself with his outburst. He struggled to remember a time in recent memory when he had been this angry with them. And despite his best efforts, he couldn’t bring himself to sleep. No matter what he’d do, he simply could not feel comfortable regardless of how exhausted he felt. 

He sat in his bed, staring up towards the ceiling hoping for any excuse to leave. From out of sight, he heard he hard ping from his window. He sprung to his feet, gazing through it to see Connie below. He looked behind him, making sure no one else was there behind him as he quietly opened his window.  
“Hey.” Connie said, “You ready to look for your Mom?”

Steven looked back once more, once more seeing no one else present before turning back to Connie, “…Yeah…”


	4. Chapter 4

She had honestly lost count of how long she been just sitting by the edge of the creek, staring into her the surface of the water and seeing that face stare right back. A face that she knew wasn’t hers, not originally. 

Despite the unpleasant circumstances that had brought her to this place, she had to concede that it was peaceful. When she closed her eyes, she could lose herself to the trickling of the water before her in tandem with the breeze of the wintry winds that forced the branches of the trees around her to dance, their faint motion sprinkling light dustings of snow along the forest floor.

‘Well, you certainly wear the form of a dead gem quite well…’ She groaned, knowing as she turned to face the voice that he would be there, still lowering a glare through narrowed eyes. His eyes seemed to burn through her and stare directly into her very being and make her squirm in discomfort.

“What are you doing?” She whined.

‘What’re you doing?’ he snapped back with the precision of a viper after its meal.

“Can’t you just leave me be?” she moaned, “They’re gone, they’re not here. I won’t ever bother them ever again and they’ll be free to forget I was ever here.”

‘Oh, please.’ He said, rolling his eyes sarcastically, ‘We both know as long as you look like that that there’ll still be at least one person you’re still fooling.’

She looked back to her reflection once more, the form of Rose Quartz the rebel still staring back at her. She had to admit that it wouldn’t be right if she still looked like this, even with no one else here to berate her. With a sigh, she focused her will through her gem until her body began to glow. The long white dress shifting to a top and pants, “There, the dress is gone, are you happy?”

‘So you go from pretending to be Rose to pretending to be one of Pink’s gems, then?’ he said, calling attention to the Diamond insignia on her top. Although annoyed, she understood what he meant. Another glimmer of light, and the symbol vanished, “How about now?” she asked, trying to hide the fact that she was starting to lose her patience.

‘What about the rest of you?’ he asked.

She mulled over his words, raising a hand to her face before running them both along the sides of her body. She felt she had to change it, but at the same time, she couldn’t think of anything else that would work as a suitable substitute. No other form felt as natural as this one, “I… look. I may not be ‘The’ Rose Quartz. But I’m still ‘a’ Rose Quartz! This form… this body… this still feels like… me. Whoever I am.”

He shrugged, as if he lacked any counter point to challenge her argument, ‘Fair enough, but maybe you should do something about that hair.’

She looked back into the water once more, seeing the gigantic mess of pink curls that draped her head. It was unmistakable from any other look she would have. It was wild, uncultivated, and beautiful. A symbol of another’s will to grow and become someone new. Even if her attire changed, if both her hair and body stayed, she would still be too much like her…

“Alright, I see your point…” she admitted, her gem glowed once more, her hair beginning to shrink and retreat until all that was left only covered the top of her head, “There, is this better?”

He gave her a sly grin, ‘I always did wonder what Rose Quartz would look like with Pink Diamond’s hair.’ He joked, she could tell that he hoped his seemingly lighthearted jab would carry more sting than the words themselves implied.

“I mean are you satisfied?” She growled.

He scratched his chin in mock contemplation, ‘Define ‘satisfied’.’

“Ugh, will you finally leave me alone!” she shouted.

‘…we’ll see…’ he responded, narrowing his eyes. She stood up to leave, but not before he halted her once again, ‘Ahahah, wait.’

“What?” She grumbled.

‘The shirt.’ He said, pointing at her. She looked down, realizing she still held the ‘Mrs. Universe’ shirt Steven had given her. The one that had been meant for someone else. Someone who was never there with him.

She cursed herself for still possessing it after everything. She could feel herself hesitate in wanting to cast it aside. For what felt like an eternity, she held it in her grasp. Her hands shook as she struggled to bring herself to let it go.

‘It’s not yours.’ He said, ‘None of what you had back there was yours. You’re only making this harder for yourself.’

She felt her eyes begin to mist before at last she felt the fabric slip through her fingers and fall to the ground. She tried not to stare at it any longer. And weather permitting, the snow would finally claim it. The last vestige of Rose Quartz would be swallowed by the planet she loved so dearly.

With that, she finally departed. No direction in mind, no name or place to call her own. No song that she could bring herself to as much as hum to drown out the howling of snowfall.


	5. Chapter 5

With a brilliant flash of light, Steven had successfully brought both he and Connie to The Great North. From behind him, he immediately recognized the unique shape and carvings of the wailing stone behind them, the top of it caked with fresh fallen snow.

“I wasn’t able to look here for very long…” Steven admitted, “A huge snowstorm kinda came in and I had to leave early, so I wanted to start here.”

Connie grinned with anticipation, “Good thing I came prepared!”

Normally when visiting places like these, especially in a bid to escape from the at times unbearable summer heat, Steven would have taken a moment to goof off. It was second nature for him to make the others laugh and keep everyone’s spirits up. But given what was happening now, he couldn’t bring himself to do so this time around. 

His thoughts already seemed preoccupied with what his mother must be up to, what she must be thinking at this very moment. A part of him still felt more than a bit of frustration towards the gems, but he knew getting angry at them would help no one and solve nothing. He hated this feeling, he never liked being angry. But in absence of any other feeling, irritation seemed to be the only viable option for him to take.

His stoic silence was certainly something Connie had picked up on right away in their search, “You seemed pretty rattled by all of this.” She stated. Steven nodded, “It’ll be okay, we just need to focus on helping Mom. I’ll make it up to the others after this.” He said, trying to put on a convincing smile in an effort to stay positive. From Connie’s reaction, it didn’t quite seem to hit its mark.

One thing that quickly made their efforts to stay chipper more difficult was trudging through the growing layers of snow. It had especially become an irksome chore when scaling uphill. It felt at times like the snow were its own entity, halting any progress they made all while mocking their struggle to move forward.

There had to be a better way to go about this, some means of quickly crossing this frozen trek of land. Suddenly, Steven felt a spark of inspiration, “Hey, Connie, I have an idea!” Without another word between them, she seemed to already know what he had planned. They grasped each other’s hand, their bodies becoming engulfed in light before the two became one.

With their newfound stature, they were met with success clearing the top of the hill that stood before them. They rummaged through their backpack, uncovering Connie’s binoculars to search for any signs of Rose’s presence. Out in the distance, where open snowy fields met with dense pine forests they spotted what looked to be footprints. From what they could see, they looked to be too misshapen to have been made by a bear or other large creature. 

“Looks like we better start walking if we’re going to keep up with her.” They said to themselves. There was glint in their eye in response, “I may have a better idea...” They scanned the area around them, keeping a mental map of other peaks and hilltops that arose between them and their destination. They took a few steps backward before making a running start. They surged forward, soaring through the air before gracefully landing atop another ridge.

With each leap, they could feel the air around them whistle in their ears, their face being pelted with frozen droplets that would have otherwise harmlessly floated to the ground. The snow below was blown away as their legs pushed them off the ground with superhuman force. For a brief moment, they allowed themselves to become lost in the thrill of the moment. When they had finally cleared the gap, they turned to look at how far they had come. Each elevated spot of land cleared of snow at the very top.

“Wow, we jump good.” They said, a part of themselves cringing at the broken grammar of their statement. It seemed they were lucky to find the footprints when they had. Already, they were beginning to become consumed by the oncoming snow, only a few stretches spared by the tree branches above shielding them from the brunt of the snowfall.

They followed the trail further inward, in the distance they could hear the sound of running water. Though Connie made sure to supply them with a few water bottles, they were thankful for the discovery and made sure to remember the spot in the event they ever got lost and needed to resupply. As they trekked on, the almost blinding glow of the mostly undisturbed snow began to die down. They looked up to see the sun’s light start to dim. Soon it would be time to either return home or set up camp. Part of them wanted to go back, but stopped themselves, ‘They’d just stop us from coming back.’ Part of them said, ‘They may have given up on her, but I haven’t.’

“You sound pretty upset with them…” They said, hesitant on bringing up the subject, “I get it, a lot has changed between her and them. But I want to be there for her. If they don’t like it, then that’s their problem.”

“This is so unlike you.” They said, almost aghast at their statement. They felt a twinge of guilt wash over them before they silently agreed to end their conversation then and there.

All around, they could hear indications that they were not entirely alone. From all sides, they could hear the light crunching of snow. They listened closer. The constant and inconsistent repetition hinting at more than one individual. Soon, they heard what they sounded like a dog panting. 

They raised a shield in defense, part of them cursing themselves for not thinking to bring Connie’s sword. Eventually, the source of the mysterious noises was made clear. From out of the foliage came a wolf, then two more wolves, their ears pointed sharply behind their head while the hairs on their back ruffled. 

“They look pretty spooked.” They deduced. Could it have been them? To their recollection, they had never seen wolves when journeying here. Perhaps they were just lost and shaken from losing their homes. If they just showed they meant no harm, perhaps they would leave them alone and move on, They lowered their shield, dispelling it with few sparkles of light.

In response, the center wolf rolled back its head and howled while more approached from both sides. They snarled and grimaced, baring their teeth as they prepared to strike. ‘Smooth, Steven…’ they thought. They panicked to summon their shield once more, holding out their arm. Before they could react, a wolf pounced on the opportunity, snatching their forearm into its jaws. Stinging hot pain shot up through their arm as they desperately attempted to free themselves. 

Soon enough, the others joined the fray, swarming them like flies. They tried to focus through the pain in their arm, their gem beginning to glow before a large pink bubble encompassed them. From outside, they clawed at its surface, one or two trying to bite into the side to reach for their would-be meal within. 

Eventually, they had given up and moved on, leaving as quickly as they came. Once they felt they were safe, they left the safety of their bubble. They inspected the damage on their arm, which still pulsated with pain. From what they could tell, the jacket sleeve had taken the brunt of the damage. But they knew that despite Steven’s unique physiology, the teeth had broken through their skin as evidenced by the small trickles of blood that dripped down their arm and onto the forest floor.

Though shaken from the encounter, they knew they had to act fast to stem any possible chance of further infection as best as they could. They contemplated going back to heal at Rose’s fountain, but decided against it. The trek back would mean they would be losing ground on finding Rose, and they were already struggling to parse out where she had gone to begin with.

“I have an idea.” They said, “Steven, let me take this.” They clung to themselves in hesitation, nervous to split just after being attacked. “I know you’re scared for me, but I need you to trust me.” They struggled to decide on what to do. Uncertainty over what would happen next freezing them from doing much past shaking in anxiety and pain. Finally, they managed to calm themselves down and relax.  
Light surrounded their body, splitting them once more. Steven looked to Connie’s left arm, still shaking in pain as the torn remnants of her sleeve revealed scarred tissue underneath. Steven hated the idea of letting her carry this wound, even for a brief moment. But he had already put together what she had in mind, leaving a kiss on her cheek. Immediately, his powers took effect, the wound dissolving and eventually fading away.

“Sorry I can’t do anything about your coat.” Steven said. Connie smiled, “It’s alright. I’ll make do with you fixing my arm. Oh and…” she took hold of Steven’s collar, pulling him closer to her for another kiss, “Thanks.” Steven immediately felt his cheeks grow warm and his breath shorten a bit, causing Connie to giggle.

They looked up, seeing the sun’s dull grey radiance begin to fade out behind the thick blanket of clouds obscuring it. After some thought and effort, they cleared a spot beside the creek to set up camp. Despite the damage to their winter clothes, Connie proved to be ever prepared once more. She rummaged through her backpack, fishing out a heat lamp for the two of them. At the very least, they wouldn’t be cold for tonight.

“Okay, so we hit a few roadblocks, but we’ll figure something out, we always do!” Steven exclaimed in an effort to try and be constructive, even if he himself wasn’t fully convinced.  
He dug through his novelty backpack, presenting to her a bag of chaps and a candy bar. She sat cross legged, her head in her hands while staring down at the lamp with a distressed look on her face. She sighed, turning to Steven, “Steven… I’m sorry…”

Steven raised an eyebrow in confusion, “Connie, what’re you talking about?” 

Connie fidgeted with her hands and looked away, as though she were nervous of what she should say next, “It was my idea to see if your Mom was in there. And I want to say that it wasn’t that I don’t think your family wasn’t good enough without her or anything like that. It’s just… I knew how you felt when I was with my Mom and how you could never have something like that. I hoped that like with Pearl’s past selves… that if she was still in there that it would have helped you feel happy because then you could enjoy what I had…”

Connie’s eyes filled with tears, she reached to her backpack to retrieve a travel sized pack of tissues to wipe her eyes, “But I should have just left well enough alone! You guys moved on, and I should have respected that. I should have, but I didn’t. And for that and the mess it’s all made. I’m so sorry, Steven…”

He could hardly believe what he was hearing. He had never imagined how this whole ordeal was affecting her. He knew she never thought less of him because of his family. He leaned to her side to wrap her into a hug, “Connie, this isn’t your fault! You said it yourself, you just wanted me to be happy. I can’t be mad at you about wanting to do something nice for me. We’ll find her, and we’ll help her get through this, I’m sure.”

With that, Connie seemed to gather herself a bit, returning his hug. For a few moments, they said nothing and took the opportunity to enjoy each other’s company. The only sounds being the flow of the stream just outside their tent. 

“What if you’re wrong?” Connie quietly asked.

“What?”

“Like, what if it isn’t really you’re Mom and she’s just some other gem running around with her memories only loving you and the others because she didn’t know any better. Maybe now she’s seeing through it all…” Connie stated. Steven didn’t like the idea of indulging this possibility, but with Pearl’s assessment even he struggled to levy much to question it. “Well, I guess we won’t know unless we find her, and find out for ourselves… And I’ll also have to apologize to the others for acting like a jerk…”

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to upset you, Steven.” Connie blurted, almost ashamed for bringing up the subject.

“No, it’s okay…” Steven reassured.

Outside, they heard the shuffling of something moving. Steven and Connie panicked, the former summoning a small bubble around them. The tent’s front zipper opened, Amethyst’s head poking through, “Steven! Connie?” she blurted out in confusion.

“Amethyst? What’re you doing out here?” Steven asked, their protective barrier disappearing.

“Looking for you, you doofus!” She said, berating him, “What the heck were you thinking just running off like that!? You’re lucky it’s just me that found out, Pearl would shapeshift a heart JUST so she could have a heart attack over this little stunt!”

Steven sighed, “You’re right… I’m sorry, Amethyst.” 

“Amethyst, please. Rose can’t be far from here. Would it really hurt to just talk to her?” Connie reasoned.

Amethyst looked to Steven. The look he gave her softening her expression, much to her frustration, “Ah geez…” she grumbled, knowing she couldn’t possibly stay mad at him. She sat beside him and placed a hand on his shoulder as a comforting gesture, “Steven. I still love your Mom. So do Garnet and Pearl. We’re just worried about you, bud. Losing her drove us crazy, and we’d hate to think what it would do to you. Yeah, there’s your friend Lars and stuff. But I don’t think you’ve ever dealt with anything like what we went through with losing Rose. But if you think you can help her, then I won’t stop you.”

Steven felt his body relax, relieved with having made amends, “Thanks. I shouldn’t have gotten so upset back there.”

“Hey, it’s cool. We always got your back.” Amethyst chuckled, pulling him into a hug.

Steven burst into a slight giggle, “Say, I don’t know if you noticed, but you sounded a lot like Pearl just now.”

Amethyst froze in horror, realizing what he meant, “Oh noooo, I did, didn’t I!?” she cried out, gripping Steven’s shirt collar with both her hands, “This is all your fault! You’re a bad influence on me!” she said in mock outrage.

“You did sound a lot like a scared mother for a bit…” Connie joked.

Amethyst cupped her hands around her ears in an effort to block out their taunting, “Ahhhh! Don’t call me that! I don’t wanna be a mom!” 

“But you totally were.” Steven teased.

“Stooooop!” Amethyst whined, “Ah man, I’m never gonna live this down…”

The two of them burst into a fit of laughter, Steven bringing Amethyst into another hug, “I love you too, Amethyst.”

Amethyst pulled back, her features lighting up as she seemed to remember something important, “Oh, Steven, I found something when I was looking for you guys.” She said, handing Steven a soaking wet piece of dark purple fabric. Steven took hold of it, holding it out in front of him, “It’s the shirt I gave Mom the other day…” With this discovery, Steven was sure his mother couldn’t be far. At least, so he hoped.


	6. Chapter 6

At first, she had barely even noticed the path in front of her. Between the mounds of fresh snow, the obstruction by the unkempt vegetation, and what she could only imagine as countless centuries of neglect and decay one would be forgiven for not initially noticing the crumbling remains of what looked to be some sort of bridge. But through the weathering of time, she could still just manage to spot the ornate carving and delicate craftsmanship that seemingly predated man’s rise to prominence on Earth.

Across it, she only saw more of the same. Dense coniferous forest layered with white untampered snow. She wondered what mysteries could be waiting for her on the other side, what lost secrets or hidden treasures lied forward that had been left behind by those who came before. Meanwhile, in the back of her mind, she felt some sense of familiarity. Perhaps another persistent nagging recollection of Rose Quartz’s specter taunting her.

She looked around, spotting no other immediately available path forward before pressing onward. Upon crossing the bridge and delving further, more structures revealed themselves among the trees. Statues, ghosts of ages gone by likely made as a testament to the resilience of those who built them as well as those whose likeness they bore. Now they stood neglected and forgotten, left to fade away in this remote and corner of the globe. Be they loyal warriors or great leaders, they all met the same fate of being left behind while the world around them moved on. Their former elegance faded by the passage of time.

From where they stood, she could just barely piece together the faintest hint of a walkway, the ground beneath her beginning to rise, patches of exposed earth revealing the scant remains of a grand stairway. The path ahead continued to carry her further skyward. The more ground she cleared, the higher she rose. As she ascended, the path ahead narrowed. The tree cover vanishing behind her.

At last, she had reached the top. The sight before her stealing her breath while she stared in awe. Along the rocky Cliffside stood a magnificent statue of a multi-armed female figure from the waist up. Her lower arms secured around what looked to be some sort of inner space. The upper arms, what remained of them, clasped a sword in each hand planted firmly into the ground.  
“This place… it seems… familiar…” she said. He nodded, ‘Rose was here.’

She contemplated whether she should enter or not. If it would be somehow wrong to indulge her curiosity. But something in the back of her mind still gnawed at her, telling her to enter. Finding little reason to do otherwise, she delved further. 

The door to this place had long since collapsed, the opening blocked by rubble and debris. However, her strength proved more than adequate in uncovering the path in. Once open, a horde of bats scurried out in a bid to escape from their intruder. 

The interior was a dilapidated mess, nothing but a former shadow of its former self. There was nothing left written along the walls, no stone tablet or ancient document scattered about that told her of the nature of this place. But upon entering, the hollowed chambers seemed to almost come alive around her. Her mind abuzz with the sights and sounds that once filled this now empty place. 

For an instant, she could see the millennia of decay recede around her. Murals depicting the chronicles of Earth’s colonization brought back to their original state. Crumbling foundations restored once more, showcasing the brilliant architecture that was done to construct this hall. Where now it lay empty and bare, she seemed to recall a time where it had been filled with life. Life not native to this world…

Venturing further, she came upon a mirrored set of staircases curved upwards. The ornate decoration carved along the sides still just barely visible despite the erosion of time. ‘There used to be more here.’ She thought. She made her way up the stairs, her feet bumping against something as she reached the top, something made of metal. She looked down, spotting a discarded broadsword laying by her foot. 

Like the structure around it, age had claimed it. The blade nearly covered in rust, the edges chipped and jagged. She picked it up and held it close to inspect it. Through the decay she could still make out the general shape of the guard along with the blade, a shape reminiscent of a five pointed star. This was the sword of a crystal gem. A gem likely inspired by Rose’s dream of a place where gems like her could be free to be themselves away from the prying eyes of Homeworld. A gem that gave her life to make that dream into a reality.

She looked out, where once stood a bridge leading to a grand metropolis now showed a gaping hole leading to nowhere. She remembered this entranceway vividly. It was decorated with beautiful statues that beckoned all those who saw them to enter. 

The city itself was meant to be a tribute to Pink Diamond, built for the sole purpose of housing her grand balls to an even greater scale. When Rose first saw this place, she was taken aback by the dazzling display of light. It stood as a beacon of color and vibrancy amongst bare bleakness of the snowcapped mountainside. From a distance, the light was so intense that one would be forgiven for thinking the place itself were some sort of illusion. Some trick of the mind’s eye.

During the war, Rose took pride in having liberated it for the Crystal Gems, in a way supplanting Rose’s old life as Pink. Once it was theirs they all celebrated their victory in ways Homeworld would never allowed them to. Rather than keep specific gems segregated and sectioned off, they mingled with one another. Jades, Sapphires, Quartzes, Emeralds, gems of all shapes and sizes coming together. Some more adventurous gems choosing to try their luck with fusion for the first time in their lives, much to Garnet’s unrestrained glee. 

But now as she gazed outward, she was only met with open skies above. The drop down obscured by fog, faint hints of the craggily ground just poking through below. The glimmering wonderland that Homeworld built, that Rose had freed now only existed within her mind as another piece of a bygone age.

She may not have known what exactly happened to this once magnificent place, but she did remember when Rose and the others first came here. Her gem lit up, projecting another memory. Rose’s initial celebration in their victory with Bismuth and Pearl after taking control of the city. 

She almost chuckled, nearly forgetting a time when Bismuth would be happy in Rose’s presence rather than exhibit barely withheld disdain for her. Pearl having to stand on her toes to sneak in a kiss from her. She could feel her cheeks grow warm at the thought, a smile creeping its way to her lips before vanishing entirely. Her heart sinking as she knew all too well what fate had in store for these three. But even still, seeing them with her, seeing them happy… it filled her with a perplexing menagerie of emotions. 

‘Look at her, she was so convinced she was doing the right thing, blindly leading everyone to a lifetime of pain and confusion.’ He said.

Her brow furrowed, “She was so sure she was doing the right thing.” She said.

‘She was an idiot.’ He sneered.

She nodded, “…She was…” 

A wolfish grin grew on his face, ‘You know what, maybe this should be our new home. It’s broken, neglected, and reminiscent of a time that everyone would prefer to forget about entirely. It suits you perfectly!’ he jeered. 

She leered back at him, aware of the thinly veiled insult he had lobbied towards her. Despite this, she did consider his idea. Here, away from them, away from everyone, she could finally have all the time in the world to find herself. To find out who she was alone. However, part of her worried how she would cope having no one to talk to ever again. The thought of such a prolonged and potentially indefinite self-imposed isolation causing her to shake a bit in discomfort.

She wondered what they would all do while she stayed here, hiding from the rest of the world. Perhaps after some time, they would at last accept that Rose was gone. Life would go on for them. Perhaps Greg would accept her loss and look for love in others. He had a good heart, so it would not be difficult for him. Over time, he would find one deserving of him and forget all about Rose, about the love he had for her, the love that made Steven possible. And she’ll be here, alone.

Years would pass, Steven would grow up to maybe start a family of his own. A family that would only know of their grandmother through stories of her follies and mistakes. They’d know her for who she truly was. Without Rose to be there to tell her story, what would they even think of her? Would they despise her, or worse, feel utterly indifferent to her?

She felt a tightness in her chest that she could not quite understand. Her breath cut short by the sudden presence of a lump in her throat while her vision blurred by tears that now began to drip down the sides of her face.

‘Oh, what is this?’ he scoffed in a mocking tone, ‘Tears? This is pathetic, even for you. Why should you even care? They’ll be happy. They’ll move on. Isn’t that what we want?’

“But if we care about them. If our love for them is real, isn’t that enough for me to be her?”

‘You are not Rose Quartz.’ He growled.

“I’m not so sure about that now…” she said, “I feel her emotions as though they were my own! I feel her sadness, her joy, her remorse… and her love. I… maybe I should go back. Maybe it’s not too-”

‘What do you think you’re doing?’ he snarled through gritted teeth, his voice freezing her in place.

“What if I am her? Steven’s probably worried si-”

‘ROSE QUARTZ IS GONE!!!’ He shrieked, ‘SHE’S DEAD AND IS NEVER COMING BACK! SHE SURRENDERED HER GEM TO STEVEN THE DAY HE WAS BORN OVER FIFTEEN YEARS AGO! AND YOU!? YOU ARE A SAD, CONFUSED LITTLE FRAGMENT OF HIS GEM’S MEMORY THAT LACKS THE GOOD COURTESY TO LAY DOWN, AND DIE!’

She flinched at the harshness of his voice, crumpling into a remote corner of the room hoping she would somehow melt into it to escape him. She looked back at him, seeing him stare back with pupils like dots, ‘Do you want to know what Rose was to him? She wasn’t his mother, she was his TORMENTOR! A constant reminder of what he took from them! Of what he could never be! And if he never needs to utter her name ever again in his entire life, it’ll be too soon!’

She began to break down into a sob, tears flowed freely down her face as she gasped to take breaths in between. This pain, this overhanging feeling of guilt weighed her down as though someone had tied a mountain to her back. She couldn’t go on like this. She couldn’t bear another moment being taunted by the memories of another. She could not live this this, recalling moments of a life that wasn’t her own, pining to be with a family she didn’t really have. She just wanted this all to stop, she wanted nothing more than for it to cease so she could finally be free, “Please… I’m begging you” she whimpered, “… please leave me alone…”

‘Leave you alone?’ he parroted in a condescending manner, ‘What on Earth would you do without me!?’ ‘You’re a miserable, sobbing mess without me! You think you’re only one who is tired of feeling like this? If you want this to end, than you know there is only one way out…’ He gestured toward the open space in front of her. She knew what he meant. She loathed to entice such a gruesome thought. 

‘Isn’t that what Rose did?’ he pleaded, ‘Is this not the same pain she knew?’ She stared out into the empty void, contemplating his words as she decided her next course of action carefully.


	7. Chapter 7

Steven certainly felt thankful for Amethyst’s support in their search. Since they had been up, they had been hiking almost nonstop. And although the snow had conveniently left a trail for them to follow, every incline they came upon or stretch of hazardous terrain made his lungs burn. 

But Amethyst was there to help steer them on the right course, shapeshifting to a form that would allow her to fly and scout ahead in search for a new trail to follow when one would lead to a dead end.  
After another uphill walk, Steven took a spot in the snow to relax and catch his breath. He felt his heart beat in his head, his legs burning with pain. Beside him, Connie waited patiently while leaning against tree to momentarily ease the burden on her feet. “Where do you think she’s even going?” she asked.

Steven dug through his backpack to find a water bottle. After a few glugs, he felt his breath begin to slow down as he pondered on Connie’s question. “I… don’t really know.” He admitted, shrugging his shoulders, “For all I know, she’s just wandering out here just so she can be by herself.”

Above, he heard the sound of wings flapping in the wintry breeze. A large purple owl dove straight down to greet them before disappearing in a flash of light, Amethyst appearing in her place. “Hey, I found a new set of tracks to follow over there.” Amethyst said, gesturing vaguely to her left. “Anything else?” Steven asked. Amethyst nodded, “Yeah, there’s this old bridge that leads to a spot where there are, like, a ton of old statues. I ain’t got a clue of what it could be. But I think maybe Rose is hiding somewhere around there.”

To Steven, this sounded like some manner of gem ruins, but something about that assessment puzzled him. He surmised it wouldn’t have been unheard of. After all there was the warp pad and the wailing stone, so Gems were clearly doing something around this place. But to his knowledge, nobody else had mentioned anything else being out here. 

However, this glaring omission would have to be a question for another time. For the time being, finding Rose was his top priority. With Amethyst’s aid, they marched onward. Thankfully, it seemed luck was in their favor. As they had discovered another set of unsullied humanoid footprints leading them further towards the path Amethyst had scouted. 

“These ones look pretty fresh.” Connie deduced, “We can’t be too far now.”

To Steven’s recollection, a great deal of time had passed since last he had delved into the ruins left behind from the days of Earth’s time as a colony. During his childhood, he would journey with the other gems to all sorts of long forgotten sights across the globe. Before, his time spent in these places filled him with a sense of wonder and amazement. But now, knowing the cause of their presence and devious intent behind them, he couldn’t help but feel a persistent sense of discomfort. 

What also didn’t help matters much was the aura of unease around such structures again. There was something that just felt… haunting to Steven about how these statues just stood here. The way they stood, unblinking, unmoving, piles of fresh snow collection on the tops of their heads and on their shoulders… 

How many of them were, in truth, gems like the ones on Homeworld were? How many of these were possibly living beings who even after everything, the war, the lifetime of servitude, the untold years of living under the Diamonds rule still feared their wrath if they dare break form for even a moment? How many were around him, their minds screaming as they sat in waiting for thousands of years at least before someone would finally come to free them? It was certainly a thought that did not sit well with him.

He hadn’t realized how much this string of thought had kept him preoccupied until he finally noticed Amethyst nudging his shoulder, “Uh… Steven… check this out…” 

At first glance, he almost mistook it for a copy of the statue of Obsidian back home. The main design presenting similar enough, a multi-armed female figure from the waist up. But upon further inspection, the differences quickly surfaced. Specific features around the face diverged wildly. While her lower arms mimicked Obsidian’s as they stretched outward, their upper arms were each equipped with a sword that seemed to have been plunged straight into the ground. The effect it gave was simultaneously imposing and visually striking.

At the base of the statue, Steven spotted a doorway clasped within the bottom row of arms. What seemed to be rubble that had been blocking it appearing to have been moved. And from the lack of snow it had to be quite a recent change.

“Mom has to be in here!” Steven stated. Wasting no time, they ran towards the entrance. Once he entered, he was greeted with the sight of crumbling walls and cracked flooring. Steven imagined at one point, this must have been a pretty important place. Along the walls he could see where representations of all the Diamonds had been shown. Through the crudeness of the imagery, he postulated that the images were meant to show the Diamonds coming to Earth. 

But strangely enough, where he had expected to see images of the Diamonds themselves instead showed their silhouettes, their likeness curiously defaced from wherever they must have been depicted. Perhaps this was a place Homeworld built and the Crystal gems must have taken for themselves? Whoever had vandalized these old carvings had to have done so long ago as seen from the smoothed out chisel marks around the likenesses of all of them. 

He shook his head. He couldn’t get caught up in all of these distractions at the moment. He had to keep going. Once they had passed the hall, they spotted a set of mirror staircases. The one on the left still showing a trail of snow leading back to the door and up to the top. Once they had cleared the steps, they came across a large room from which stood a massive hole that exposed a view of the adjacent snowcapped mountains. At the other end, they spotted a lone figure. A woman with a tall, stout build and short pink hair standing at the very end of the room with her back turned to them.

“Mom?” Steven said. The stranger didn’t seem to respond, either not hearing him or consciously ignoring him. She seemed to drop something out of her hands, watching it plummet down below before folding her hands together. Although initially confused, he quickly put together what she was doing. As well as what she was intending to do…

“Mom, wait!” He cried frantically.

As she turned in response, Steven was quick to pinpoint the most jarring changes she had undergone since she left. The most obvious difference was her hair. Her long, pink curls traded for the shorter, puffy style more reminiscent of her original Diamond form. Her dress traded for the simple pants and top of her original Quartz uniform, the Diamond symbol markedly absent. Dark circles could be plainly seen under her eyes, hinting to him that she must have spent little to no time resting after leaving the temple days ago.

“Steven?” She gasped in surprise. She turned back, looking over the edge of the drop. Steven’s heartbeat quickened. He could feel the color in his face wash away as she panicked. He knew what she was thinking, he knew he couldn’t let this happen. Not if he could help it.

“Mom, please listen to me!” Steven urged, “Whatever is happening, whatever you may be going through? This isn’t going to solve anything! I’m sure you must feel so lost and confused right now. We’re here to help you through this!”

Even as she appeared to look him in the eye, it still felt as though she were staring at something a million miles away. Her attention focused away from them and towards her own thoughts. Steven tried to think of something else to say, something to help call her attention and diffuse the situation. Before he could, however, Connie stepped forward, “Mrs. Universe, I may not know you too well, but I know this isn’t what’s best. It’s not best for Steven or the others. And most importantly, it’s not what’s best for you! Steven here still believes in you, that’s why we came all the way out here!”

Rose looked down, contemplating Connie’s words while she paused in reflection. To Steven’s left he heard Amethyst begin to speak, “Rose. I remember when you first found me in the kindergarten. I was so confused and scared to see another person after being by myself for so long. I didn’t know who or what I really was.” He could see her eyes begin to gloss, tears only just starting to form in the corners of her eyes before she wiped them away, “But you still took me in and showed me love. You knew I came out wrong, but you told me I was perfect just the way I am. Now that you’re sort of in the same place I was, I want to pay you back, ‘cause… you’re kinda my mom too.”

Rose bit her lip, her hands shaking as she lifted them up to hug herself. Steven could see she was trying to hold everything in. To try and bottle everything up for fear that letting it all out would cause her to fall to pieces then and there.

“Mom?” despite the gentleness of his tone, she still seemed to almost recoil at the sound of his voice. He took a deep breath, hoping what he was about to say would help him reach out to her, “Before meeting you, I used to have all these confused feelings about you. I heard so much about you both good and bad. I remember Dad once told me that despite all the stuff you had on your mind, that you were still an incredible, loving being. This past year, I finally had gotten to understand what he had meant. Those moments we spent together, the times where you wanted to make me happy and get to know me and connect with me had helped make this past year… perhaps the best year of my life.” He smiled, feeling small tears trail down the sides of his face.

Rose’s lip quivered, she raised a hand to cover her mouth while tears streamed down her face. Her entire body shook in an effort to choke back a sob. He knew he had to be careful with what he said, but he knew he had to say something to show there was another way. “I know you care about me, and I’m betting you did all of this for me because you somehow thought you didn’t deserve the love we all gave you. Well I’m here to tell you do. You matter to me. To all of us. I also know that you don’t want to die. You’re in pain, and you just want it all to stop. We can help you, if you just let us in. Please, Mom…”

She looked over the edge again, then back to them. Her eyes shut tight, her hands flying up to cup around her ears as though to block someone or something out. “I… I don’t want this…” she said. She slowly moved closer to him, distancing herself from the ledge, stopping as soon as she was right beside him. She looked down towards the others with a look of sheer anguish before falling to her knees. Unable to hold back any longer, her defenses fell apart. Heavy, unrestrained sobs bellowed forth as everything she had tried so hard to keep locked up and contained at last came bursting outward like a geyser. 

Instinctively, Steven reached out to embrace her into a hug while the others followed suit. Rose raised her arms, her hands still trembling as she returned their hug in kind. “Don’t worry, Mom. We’ll help you through this. You’re much stronger than you think you are. Trust me.” Steven said in an effort to help comfort her. The sound of her weeping echoed throughout the room, “S-Steven… I…. I…” she mumbled, her flustered state only allowing her to spill out a few discernable words through her blubbering. Steven wiped his eyes and tightened his hug, “It’s okay, Mom. I love you too.” He said, feeling his voice start to crack, “Let’s take you home…”

For a few moments, Steven did nothing. Only retaining his embrace so as to provide his mother all the time she needed to vent. Finally, she seemed to calm down and collect herself. She let go, her hands moving to hug herself once more. “Okay…” she said, her voice so faint Steven struggled to hear it.

A shadow began to loom over Rose. Before Steven could properly react, Rose instinctively shoved him out of the way. A large hand slammed down, the floor fragmenting around them kicking debris in all directions. A puff of smoke appeared before Steven heard the sound of something fragile hit the ground He scrambled to his feet, a monstrous, disfigured creature towering over them all. Its form was reminiscent of some manner of arachnid, its eight humanoid arms unsettlingly bent to mimic theirs. The front of it was a nightmarish amalgamation of faces seemingly melted and stretched into one, their features all bleeding into one another. Just above their eight eyes lied a misshapen gemstone.

Steven couldn’t see Rose’s gem, was it safe? Was it damaged, or worse, shattered? Amethyst wasted no time arming herself. Cracking her whip around two of the monster’s front legs before pulling with all her might. He summoned a shield, flinging it to the two front legs of the creature’s other side. With its balance thrown off it fell forward, crashing into the ground.

“Connie!” Steven cried. She rushed to the spot where Rose had been poofed, “On it!” she said, apparently already knowing what he was thinking. As she pulled it from the rubble, he looked to see if it had been damaged at all. Intact, thank goodness. He gave a deep sigh of relief.

However, their respite was short lived. Their foe quickly recovered. Amethyst’s grip slipped, their attacker free to continue its rampage by first knocking Steven aside before he could defend himself. He tumbled backward, his head hitting the cold stone surface hard. He tried to get up, but with his body sore and his head dizzy he simply collapsed to the ground. The back of his head felt wet. His vision blacking out at the sight of Amethyst and Connie preparing to fight for their lives.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I realize that this chapter has certainly taken this story on a bit of a dark(er) turn. I tried to handle this very serious topic as tastefully as I could, so I might be a little nervous posting it. Once again, feedback is appreciated.


	8. Chapter 8

In the initial excitement of the moment she had momentarily lost all sensation or sense of where she was. She felt her consciousness float into an endless black void with no clear beginning or end. As her faculties recovered she quickly realized where she was. Though this had only been the second time she had ever dissipated her form, already she panicked at the thought of it being her last.

This feeling of desperation and restlessness she felt must have been how humans felt when underwater for too long. The mad scramble to claw their way back up to the surface. The sudden anxiety that what you do in the few moments you could react will result in life or death. And although her own life was indeed on the line, it was the wellbeing of another she was more concerned with.

Her mind flooded with a whirlwind of confusing thoughts and emotions as she tried to fight through the chaos to reform, “I have to get back out there!” She said to herself, “I have to help him! I can’t let my Steven get hurt…”

‘What do you mean, your Steven?’ he jabbed. ‘You mean Rose’s Steven?’

“I… I don’t have time for this!” she snapped, “It doesn’t matter if he’s mine or not, he’s in danger! So are Connie and Amethyst! If I can help them, than I must!”

‘You and I both know there’s more to it than that.’ He said, ‘If you do save him, what then? What will you all do going forward? Will all of you just agree to live out a lie and carry a dead gem’s name through the mud until the end?’

“I’d rather be Rose and surrounded by a loving family than be no one and be alone forever.”

He snickered, ‘Are you sure about that? Are you really ready to carry this burden again?’ He receded into the darkness, images of others forming around her. People that in life, Rose had loved… and later betrayed…

Sapphire’s righteous indignation at her deception, “SHE LIED TO US! SHE LIED ABOUT EVERYTHING!”

Amethyst’s shattered faith in her once trusted guardian, “SHE WAS SUPPOSED TO MAKE EVERYTHING BETTER!”

Pearl’s confusion and personal pain for being deceived after countless years of unwavering loyalty, “I WAS THE ONE SHE TOLD EVERYTHING!”

Jasper for leading her towards an ultimately pointless path of vengeance, “MY DIAMOND! YOUR DIAMOND! PINK DIAMOND!”

Steven’s emotional exhaustion for dealing with her shortcomings, “I knew she was a liar...” Somehow, she felt his words to be the most damning of all.

And still more voices came. More scenes highlighting Rose Quartz’s follies and failures. Of the full extent of the suffering she had wrought. Bismuth’s imprisonment, Lapis’ prolonged entrapment within the mirror, the years of mourning by the other Diamonds, the gems sacrificed for the construction of a weapon meant to avenge her alleged death. For a moment, she could almost feel the cackle of an all too familiar voice speak to her as though she were but a child. Telling her it was simply in her nature to make everything worse while they made everything better. She cupped her hands over her ears and closed her eyes. She couldn’t take any more of this. She begged for the constant noise to stop.

But soon enough, she began to hear a different voice. This one gentle and warm, a contrast to the icy tones and damning words that accosted her. A voice that carried with it the age and wisdom that could only be possible from experiencing a lifetime of growth and change, “The past is the past, it’s who you are now that matters. And what she was, was an incredible, loving being.”

The corner of her mouth crooked into a smile at the recognition of this tender voice, “Greg…” Once more, she was greeted by the sights and sounds of both Rose and Steven’s lives, but here, it was different.

Rose’s first time speaking to her child, when he offered her forgiveness and assured her that he wanted her to be there with him. The relief that washed over her brought her to tears.

Her moment of reconciliation with the other gems. As painful and uncomfortable as it was, it was what she had to do to mend the trust that had been so thoroughly dismantled by her paranoia and secrecy. It took a great deal of emotional honesty that could only have been summoned by Bismuth’s brutal honesty.

The mornings she would spend greeting Steven, even if only through the confines of a humble tablet screen. Because she knew how much it meant to share even the smallest moment with someone who meant so much to her.

The day Rose had procured a new gemstone to call her own. Though meant to be a means by her enemies to inflict harm, it had offered her the freedom to be the person she wished to be. To embrace her child and protect him when no one else could. She felt her heart soar with the recollection of these pleasant times. The joy they brought and the comfort they afforded for her feeling just as palpable as the turmoil that prefaced it.

Even when she had been at her lowest, he was still there for her. Reassuring her that he would be there when her burdens would become too great for her to bear alone. That he would not abandon her for falling short. Showing her that her best was more than enough for him.

Once again, all around her faded to nothingness, there existed only her. No further memories, no other fears, loves, passions, or dreams. No one there to console or berate her further. There was simply nothing else to show. Nothing else to say.

“But… If all that’s here is Rose, what does that make me?” she asked. How would it still be at all be possible for her to exist? What did this mean for her? What was she going to do with this going forward?

She thought back to Steven. She felt her fists clench and her breath hasten knowing he was in peril. Part of her still screamed that he wasn’t hers, but now within the seclusion of her gem she could recognize the varying emotions that pulled her in all directions. Some to let him go. Many more to aid him.

She yearned for his safety, his happiness. She ached knowing he was out there alone and in danger just within her reach. She wished she would be there for him right now. It was more than just out of simple decency, she loved him. That at least was genuine. It was tangible. These memories she had were hers because the emotions they carried, the marks they left behind were real. 

When she saw them happy, she truly felt happy. She wept upon seeing them in pain and sorrow. She feared for their safety. For the first time in days, her mind finally felt clear. “I have wasted more than enough time…” she said, “I’m going back out there…”

‘And just what do you think you’re doing?’ He flared, surfacing once more.

“I am going to help my son.” She stated boldly.

He narrowed his gaze, his pupils shrinking and his features twisting in unrestrained frustration. ‘Don’t you see what you’re doing!?’ he barked, ‘You’re still in denial! You think they love you but they don’t! You’re absolutely pathetic if you think you’re fooling anyone here! Why can’t you just let this die!?’

“Get out of my way.” She demanded. 

‘Who do you think you are?’ he growled back.

“I am Rose Quartz Universe.” She proclaimed, “And as long as I am here, I’m going to be with my family.”

She could see him begin to almost shrink before her, his focus still fixed squarely on her in defiance. But now, it felt different. His words no longer carried the same weight they held before, his anger and his disapproving gaze feeling all but entirely numb to her. ‘Fine, go out there, go crawl back to the family you don’t deserve and the son that’s hardly even yours. I’ll still be here.’ He huffed, ‘I’m not going anywhere. Every little thing you do or say, I’ll be there. I’ll be there to remind you just how worthless you really are no matter what they tell you.’

“I know… But now at least I know I don’t have to listen to you anymore…”


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I meant to get this chapter all written up last week. But life got in the way, so I had to put it on hold. I appreciate the people who have been patient, as at least that means I managed to wrap up two chapters (9 and 10) this week.

For an instant, there was an intense flash of white. Followed by the brief dizziness as her gemstone worked to accomplish so much in so little time. Modifying her form, accommodating for the surrounding area and adjusting to its environmental pressure until lastly, materializing her form.

As her senses returned, she was quickly greeted with the chaos of battle. The sound of rock being smashed against rock. The debris spilling out in all directions like confetti, pelting her body before she could even rise to her feet. 

After her momentary stupor she quickly recovered, her attention focused on the crisis around her as she scanned the room. Amethyst had seemed to have been putting up quite a valiant effort to hold the monster at bay. From how Rose saw it, she looked as though she were on the brink of collapse. Every attempt to restrain it with her whip met with failure while she strained to keep up with its superior strength. Alone, Rose knew she wouldn’t stand a chance. 

Swiftly, she summoned two shields to each hand, flinging them towards of the creature’s front and back legs before charging into her side to knock it off balance. Like a frightened insect flipped on its back, it furiously kicked and struggled before rolling back and scrambling to its feet. It emitted a horrid jittering noise as if in some attempt to scare the two. But neither showed signs of backing down.

“Rose, I can’t take this thing myself. And I don’t think you can either.” Amethyst said plainly. 

“Are you suggesting…”

“I don’t see any other options.” Amethyst said with a shrug.

Rose could hardly believe what she was hearing. That after everything that had happened, after what had almost happened that she would be willing to do this “Do you really trust me?” she asked timidly.

“I know you’d do whatever you’d need to protect Steven. And I would too.” Amethyst reassured, holding out her hand. Rose took hold, their forms becoming immersed in light, melding into one another while growing in size and stature. However, their combatant would not wait. It lurched forward, ramming the front of its body into the unformed fusion. It’s force almost tackling them to the ground. But it quickly found that as one being, they possessed strength that far surpassed either as individuals as they pushed back.

Despite its efforts, their new form already begun to take shape, their minds and bodies acting as one to form a new individual. Despite their tribulations and traumas, the new being formed from them couldn’t help but smile either in defiance or in an effort towards self-assuredness. Their shared fears and regrets mingling with their playful and lighthearted natures. At last, the process was successfully complete.

“Whoa pal, what is even your deal?” she cheerfully blurted with a light chuckle, “I didn’t do nothin’ to you! But ya just had to go and make a huge mess!” with little effort, she lifted the beast above her head. “If ya wanted to play, I should warn ya…” with a heavy thud she slammed it against the ground. Wasting no time, she grappled onto its limbs to restrain it, “…I like to play rough!”

The creature thrashed and struggled from her hold before finally surrendering to exhaustion. With no energy left to fight back, she plucked its gemstone, its body vanishing in a puff of smoke. Once she had bubbled and sent the gem away to the temple, she took a moment to indulge her curiosity and examine her form. She had two arms, each one splitting off at the elbow to form four total forearms and hands. Her skin was noticeably darker, but upon inspecting a few locks of her long, faintly curly hair she saw it was a noticeably lighter hue. Their choice in garment showed influences from both, a white tied on skirt hiding torn jean shorts while a loose fitting shirt obscured the pink top underneath. “We… did it.” She said in disbelief. She hugged herself, becoming overwhelmed with a sense of pure bliss before her form broke apart once more with Rose and Amethyst standing in her place.

Amethyst, now at last having a moment to recover, turned to Rose in surprise. She struggled to properly stand as she leaned forward, placing her hands on her knees to keep her from falling to the ground altogether. 

“Whoa… we actually fused. I guess we can call her Smokey 1.0. That was pretty fun…” she huffed, giving a thumbs up in encouragement before narrowing her eyes in concentration, as if she were focusing on something that had previously eluded her, “Hey, you look a little different.”

“Different?” Rose echoed in confusion. Amethyst nodded in confirmation. Her gemstone lit up, her body taking on the shape of a large mirror. Physically, she looked the same. Her body shape remaining consistent while her hair returned to its original form, the mane of pink curls restored. However, her attire had indeed changed. 

The first thing she had taken notice of were the inclusion of sandals, unsurprisingly in the likeness of ones worn by Greg and Steven. Pink shorts could be seen underneath a skirt reminiscent of the one from her original dress now only going down to just past her knee and tied up in a knot around her waist for support. Her pink top appeared to be adorned with the symbol of a small yellow five pointed star in the center. After taking a minute to look over herself, Rose felt her lips crease into a smile. Unlike before, where she had tried to eliminate any hints of her past, she finally felt more like herself again. At least more than she had in the past few days.

Through the levity of the moment, she felt a nagging thought rob her of their collective solace. If Amethyst had been battling this thing alone, then what had happened to the others?

She tried to keep herself from panicking. They were smart, they could have found a way to get out of harm’s way… and completely leave Amethyst to face that fusion monster alone. Okay, so that couldn’t have been it. Her mind began to play through a disturbing series of gruesome scenarios. Could they have been crushed? Piles of rubble and rock easily as tall as her littered the ground from Amethyst’s skirmish. She felt her breath hasten and her thoughts lean more towards hysteria.

Suddenly, a new sound began to pierce through the deafening silence. A high pitched wailing that echoed throughout the room. For a moment, Rose thought perhaps some other strange fusion experiment had discovered them. But soon enough, she recognized it for what it was. This was no monster. Following the source of the noise, Rose cleared away the debris. She took a sigh of relief upon finding Connie underneath. Though she did not survive unscathed, at least she didn’t appear to have any serious injuries outside of the odd scrape or bruise. “Connie, thank the stars you’re alright. But where’s Steven?”

It was then that Rose had noticed Connie holding something close to her chest. As she crawled out of the rubble, she revealed what she had been protecting. An infant with a tuft of short, curly dark hair wrapped in Steven’s shirt. It fidgeted as it tried to break free from its confines. It did not take long for Rose to piece together who this was and what had happened. But even then, the sight of Steven in such a state still felt so strange to her, “…Did Steven… just revert into a baby?” she said in disbelief as Connie handed him to her. 

“I ran to help him as soon as I could.” Connie stated, “His head was bleeding and I think he must have gotten a concussion.

“I guess it must be like poofing for him?” Amethyst suggested, shrugging her shoulders. Rose couldn’t help but chuckle a bit. Just when she had though she had Steven’s powers figured out, he still seemed to still have a few surprises still up his sleeve. As she looked into his gemstone, she wondered what other surprises now could be lying dormant just under its facets, unknown even to her. But perhaps that was a question for another day.

Steven began to squirm and fuss in Rose’s arms, his inaudible noises sounding increasingly distressed. “Shhh… It’s okay, sweetie. Mommy’s here. It’s going to be alright now.” She whispered, trying to speak in the softest voice she could possibly muster to help calm Steven down, “Connie, do you have a blanket I could wrap him in to keep him warm?”

“I do, let me go get it!” She responded, frantically digging through her backpack.

She could hardly take her eyes off of him. In her mind, she had always seen Steven as someone who was so much stronger than her, her own little hero. But now, now he was so small and helpless. “Uh, Rose. You okay?” Amethyst asked. Rose realized she was beginning to tear up. She couldn’t help but laugh at herself for a moment from the absurdity of the situation. “It’s just… I never got to hold him when he was this little.” She said, her voice cracking a bit as she wiped her eyes.

Right now, more than anything, she wanted to make this moment last. It wouldn’t quite make up for the lost time she spent as little more than an observer in Steven’s life. It wouldn’t change the missteps she had made, the people she lied to, or even make the pain of her old life hurt any less. But it certainly came close, and at this moment that was more than enough for her.

From the entryway, Rose could start to hear the distant pattering of footsteps approaching. Faint echoes of a voice were made out, but the distinctive words and tone were lost to her. From what she could discern, it didn’t sound like another gem mutant approaching. And it was certainly much too far for any human to stumble across. After a few moments, the sounds of footsteps grew as the voice became more audible. “Hello? Steven? Amethyst?” Pearl hollered.

“Guys, we’re over here!” Amethyst shouted in response. Soon enough, Pearl had arrived, scampering up the dilapidated steps to greet them while Garnet and Greg followed close behind. She paused to examine the group before them, as if she were surprised from Rose and Connie’s presence.

Connie could only give an awkward attempt at a smile and faint wave, “Hello, ma’am… Garnet… Mr. Universe.”

“Well, thank goodness you’re relatively unharmed, but where’s Steven?” Pearl asked. Rose stepped forward, showing Pearl the infant Steven still wrapped in the spare blanket to help keep him warm. Pearl nearly gasped in shock at the sight. She shot a look back to Rose, her pupils like dots while she reached for her gemstone to arm herself, “What happened to him? Did you do something!? I swear if you harmed a hair on his head than-”

Amethyst rushed between them to hold Pearl back, “Whoa, whoa! Chill P! It’s her, we got it all figured out now!”

“You’ll have to understand that we can’t just take your word for it.” Garnet stated.

“Rose and I fused!” Amethyst blurted.

Pearl and Garnet stopped as if they were frozen in place, the spear Pearl had been reaching for retreating into her gem as she stared blankly in disbelief at what she had told her, “You… what?”

“There was some gem shard monster that attacked after… well, Rose and I can talk about that later, but we fused to beat it.” Amethyst tried to explain as quickly as she could without having the words come out all at once in one incoherent mess.

“And you’re sure it’s Rose?” Pearl questioned.

Amethyst nodded in confirmation, “Well, yeah. Who else could she be?” 

Greg slowly made his way to Rose, she could tell he looked almost nervous to talk to her. Rose only smiled, as she was just happy to see him again, “Hello Greg. I’m sure you have a lot of questions and even more complicated feelings right now because of me…”

Greg’s brow furrowed, “Rose, honey, you look exhausted.” He said with concern.

“It’s been an eventful few days, for all of us…” She said, looking down at the still sleeping infant. She looked to the others again, still feeling a hint of unease towards her. She couldn’t blame them, but she knew she’d need to do something to help diffuse the tension, “Pearl, if you feel Steven would be safer with you, then you’re free to take him.”

Pearl looked to Steven, seeing him sound asleep in Rose’s arms. A smile appearing on her lips before looking back to Rose, “If Amethyst trusts you, than there’s no need. He’s yours after all.”

Rose smiled, “Thank you…” At least now they had some amount of trust in her, but what would need to come next would be especially troublesome. No matter how much she would want to bury it away, she knew she’d need to share this with them. After all, it’s what Steven would want her to do, “Now, there are matters we must discuss once we’re all home…”


	10. Chapter 10

Steven mumbled and moaned as he slowly regained his consciousness. All around him he felt a comforting sensation that encompassed his entire body. He attempted to move his limbs, finding them restricted. He slowly opened his eyes, his sight accosted by the first burgeoning rays of the morning sun peeking through his window and embracing his face with its warmth. 

Before his sight could even fully recover, he already could tell he was not in his own bed from making out the general shape of the stairs to his right. As he finally freed himself to stretch out his arms, he looked down to see what had been his restraints, a simple bed sheet that had been neatly wrapped around him.

From behind, he heard the sound of a gentle snore. He turned to face the noise, greeting the sight of his mother lying beside him, her arm jutting outward past the humble mattress of the futon. Rose’s hair, now returned to its more familiar styling, had frizzed during her slumber. Steven immediately felt himself struck with a litany of questions. What had happened? Where was Connie and Amethyst? What happened to the thing that attacked them?

“Mom?” Steven said, lightly pushing against her shoulder to spur her from her sleep. Rose moaned, tossing and turning under her sheets before finally lifting her upper body up out of her bed. Her movements were sluggish as she rubbed her eyes and yawned. But the moment she saw him awake she gasped in excitement, seemingly rejuvenated from her dreary state. “Good morning, Steven!” She exclaimed, scooping him into her arms before tenderly kissing his cheek. 

“Why was I wrapped in a blanket?” Steven asked.

“Oh, because you were a baby.” Rose cheerfully explained.

Steven gave an exhausted sigh, “Moooom!”

“No, Steven, you reverted into an infant after you were injured.” She elaborated.

“Oh…” he plainly responded, feeling his cheeks grow warm from embarrassment, “So you were just looking after me this whole time?”

“Of course! I had to help take care of my little baby bear…” Rose stated, gingerly setting him down into her lap, “With everyone else’s help, of course.” She added.

There had to be more than what she was telling him, something she’d not feel comfortable saying, “I’m… totally grounded, aren’t I?” 

Rose sighed, “Steven, you ran away from home against everyone’s wishes and nearly got killed. Grounding was the least of your concerns. But Amethyst and I had a talk with everyone, including Connie’s parents. It sounds like you two are exempt for the time being.”

From the kitchen, Steven could hear the sound of bacon and eggs sizzling. He looked to see Amethyst standing leisurely upon a stepstool by the stove. “Hey Steven! Imma make breakfast, want me to whip you up something?” she offered. 

“Oh, no thank you.” Steven said politely, his stomach growling in protest. Rose covered her mouth to hold back a giggle, “Sounds like you’re quite famished. I’m sure being this cute must work up an appetite!” she playfully teased. 

“Actually, maybe a little breakfast.” Steven timidly restated. “And, uh, please. No motor oil this time…” 

Amethyst gave a halfhearted shrug, “Alright, whatever. More for me!”

“Amethyst and I fused.” Rose whispered, hardly able to contain her excitement. Steven gasped in disbelief, stars dancing in his eyes, “WHAAAAT!” he cried out. Rose grinned and nodded, “It’s true. Maybe one day I could try fusion with the others again.” She pondered, “Oh, maybe with you! Oh my goodness, that’d be so fun if I learned how to fuse with my baby!” Steven admitted he had never thought of the possibility before. But now that she had mentioned it, he did feel a surge of curiosity at the thought.

At this point Steven had noticed something different with Rose. Though no longer in the plain pants and top she wore previously, her outfit had not reverted to her original gown, “Your outfit changed…” she said plainly. “Oh, do you like it?” she quietly asked, caught a bit off guard by his statement. “Do you?” Steven asked.

Rose looked over herself, “It’s a good start, but I feel it’s missing something…” she said. She leaned over the edge of the mattress, pulling up a laundry basket containing a stack of neatly folded clothes. She sifted through its contents, retrieving the ‘Mrs. Universe’ t-shirt he had given her just days ago before slipping it over her top, “I think I’ll keep it this time.” She confirmed with a smile.

She looked back to him, his expression evidently causing her smile to slowly whittle away. She sighed and gave him a look that showed hints of discomfort masked by resolution, “Steven, I imagine you must be very upset with me right now. I want to say that I’m sorry for scaring you. I would never have wanted to frighten you like that.”

“Mom, I’m not like the Diamonds. You don’t need to apologize about this.” Steven reassured, “It’s sort of my fault. I should have talked to you about all this stuff on Homeworld sooner…”

Rose’s grip on Steven tightened in response, “It’s not your fault, Steven.” She gently reassured.

“Mom… That part of me, what he said… I may not really know how you were in there, but I do know that as long you are here that I don’t want you gone. I’m still me. You being here doesn’t change that.” He said, trying to calm her with some measure of a smile.

“I know. I guess neither of us really know how your gem really works then…” Rose admitted.

“I guess not…” Steven surmised, “Mom, I really want you to stay. And I really, really don’t ever want you to think I’d want you to… you know…” He couldn’t bring himself to say the word, especially not in relation to her. He felt his own hold on Rose’s arms stiffen as his hand began to ever so lightly tremble, “I was so scared I’d lose you back there. Please Mom, if you ever feel that way again, you have to tell either me, or Dad, or the gems. Alright?”

Rose nodded, “I promise, sweetheart.”

With that, Steven felt at least a bit more at ease. The stress of the past few days at last fading away in his mother’s embrace. “Mom, I know you’re not perfect. But you don’t have to be. Not for us. You try so hard to be a better person every day. I want you to know there’s honestly nobody else I would rather have to be my mom than you.”

“Oh stop, you’re going to make me blush…” She said, her cheeks already taking on a rosy complexion before lifting her hands to cover them. Steven chuckled, relieved to see a sincere smile on her face again, especially after the last time he had seen her. Rose looked down to him, her arms crossed over his chest as he sat comfortably in her lap, “You know, somedays I wonder if you get tired of me smothering you like a Teddy Bear…”

“I’m fine, Mom. You know I don’t mind hugs…” Steven insisted. Rose lifted Steven closer to her to leave another kiss, “Thank the stars for that…” For a few moments, Steven simply basked in the calm of the moment. The radiant glow of the morning sun leaking into the temple, Rose’s soft embrace enveloping him with a sense of security and comfort. The very room itself grew quiet as Amethyst’s clattering over in the kitchen seemed to die down. 

After everything they had both went through, all he wanted was a day for them to relax. Maybe take the time to enjoy the nice summer weather to visit Funland, maybe pay Lars a visit, assuming he and Sadie weren’t busy with plans of their own. Perhaps even just spend the day helping his father at the car wash. Anything that would help return some sense of normalcy to their lives, whatever meaning that word meant to either of them. With his mind deep in thought, he had barely noticed a new sound begin to fill the empty void in the room. The sound of Rose singing.

“If I could begin to be half of what you think of me, I could do about anything, I could even learn how to love.”

The means by which she carried the verse was so gentle and quiet it was scant different from a whisper. 

“When I see the way you act wondering when I’m coming back, I could about anything, I could even learn how to love like you…”

Her means of singing carried a tone of reassurance and comfort that stood out all the more as it turned to a more somber note towards the end of the verse.

“I always thought I might be bad, now I’m sure that it’s true ‘cause I think you’re so good, and I’m nothing like you. Look at you go, I just adore you I wish that I knew what makes you think I’m so special.”

The stress she placed on each syllable echoed with sincerity. Steven looked up to see Rose staring back at him, a warm smile present on her lips and tears streaming down her eyes.

“If I could begin to do something that does right by you, I would do about anything, I would even learn how to love.”

She paused only briefly to wipe the tears from her eyes, her smile persisting.

“When I see the way you look, shaken by how long it took, I could do about anything I could even learn how to love like you. Love like you. Love me, like you.”

The grace and poise in which she finished her song was nothing short of beautiful, and the intent behind it not lost on Steven. He stretched out his arms as much as he could to embrace her into a hug of his own. “I love you so much, Mom.” He whimpered.

Rose lifted Steven closer to her face, leaving a kiss on his forehead, “I love you too, Steven. Thank you for giving me another chance to be a part of your family.”

Steven wiped his eyes and grinned, “Don’t forget, this is your family too.”

**Author's Note:**

> If you can't tell already from the fic itself. I had a lot of conflicting feelings concerning 'Change Your Mind'. Don't take this the wrong way, I loved the episode. I felt it was perfect and I wouldn't want it to have played out any other way. 
> 
> Regardless of what I was hoping for, I would never want to try and impose what I wanted from the show to the detriment of people who watch it and appreciate it for different reasons. But there were revelations in this special that left me with a lot of conflicting emotions in relation to my AU.
> 
> After having almost a week at the time of typing this to process everything, I think I can still say that I'm still happy I've written these fics. I'm happy that this AU exists and that others enjoy it as well. I made this AU not only because I thought it'd be cute, but also because I thought it would be an interesting premise to tell a few good stories with. And I hope for the good people who read my fics that they enjoy them. 
> 
> Edit: So to start, I just want to thank from the bottom of my heart the kind people who have been encouraging me to write these fics ever since I posted chapter 1. Thank you all so much. I can be a little self conscious of my own work at times to the point where I can feel like my own worst critic. And I feel part of it is how new I am to writing in general vs the standard I set for myself. 
> 
> I want to say that I do plan on continuing this AU. I still have a love for Rose's character and the dynamic she would have with Steven and the others after all the growth they've undergone. And I hope you all are just as excited to read more and I am to write more!


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